Positivity isn’t automatic; it is a choice. Think good thoughts and surround yourself with all that is good.
Make it a great day; the choice is yours!
It is likely that at some point in your life, fear will prevent you from doing something. That “something” could be returning to school, making a career change, relocating to a new city or state, ending a toxic relationship, starting a fitness program, public speaking, starting your own business, or something else.
“Empowered fear is the mighty immobilizer. tfc
The thing is, you give fear power by “living in your mind,” and the fear then becomes the biggest roadblock you create for yourself. Instead of just taking the risk and see where your actions lead, in your mind you concoct absurd conclusions based on what ifs, and make excuses as to why you cannot move forward,
In my early 30’s, occasionally I would see a sista with locs. At that time, locs weren’t as common and they were not viewed as socially acceptable or professional by employers and close-minded and uneducated people. Even today in a more liberal society, some people remain ignorant and believe the style is dirty, unkempt, and ugly.
Regardless, I have always loved their unique and free-flowing ability. Their lack of uniformity and rebel like style is appealing to me. When I see men, women and children sporting their locs, to me, they symbolize freedom and confidence. I especially love seeing Caucasian men and women workin’ the heck out of their locs and can’t stand when black folk of color take issue with them and act like the style belongs to black folk, but that’s a whole other post.
Why freedom and confidence? Because of the mass confusion and general lack of knowledge about locs, people are often judged, snubbed, and ridiculed for taking a liking to the style. Some level of confidence is inherent to comfortably and confidently wear the style. Ask anyone wearing locs. They can tell you about the ill-mannered questions, statements, and odd looks they receive.
Nearly three years ago, when my son began his Loc journey, a woman thought she needed to correct me about decision to wash–that’s right–wash my son’s hair. Smh! This black woman was convinced that my son’s’ hair would not loc if I continued to wash it.
Depending on the hair, the process can take months… many months. That notion is foolish and makes no sense because the water, I learned from my son’s professional Loctician, help the hair hair loc), Included in my son’s’ loc maintenance is always a good shampoo. His hair Loced with no problem.
As I sit and write this, my heart started beating fast again! Lol!! I am one hour and six minutes aways from a new chapter in my life.
While I am writing about the start of my loc journey,
this post is more about overcoming and conquering fears.
After months of serious deliberation and weighing the pros and cons of locing my hair, I committed to begin my loc journey. “I am expressing my creativity…” Lauren Hill, I Am Not My Hair.What took me so long?
I was afraid. Yep, there goes that immobilizing word again. FEAR!!!!!!
Afraid that I would not like the style.
Afraid of the early frizzy stage.
Afraid that if I changed careers, the style would beome a barrier.
Afraid that my locs would not be as pretty as my sons, my cousins or others.
Afraid that my busy schedule would not allow me to keep up the appointments.
Afraid of what I would look like with tiny coils in the early stage.
Afraid of not looking attractive.
Afraid of looking my age.
When I read over the list, I think to myself, “girl that is stupid!” Stupid but real. You feel what you feel.
So how did I get over the hump?
Three weeks before my loc appointment, I decided to do something that I have not done before. Install small two-strand twists and wear them to work.
Th twist were a huge contrast to the big puff I wore all summer. Lol! After twisting my hair, my head looked so flat and small. While I was not convinced the style complimented my facial features, I pushed the thought to the back of mind, added more mascara, puckered for my favorite lip color, and kept it moving.. Lol!! The style definitely changed my appearance and this took some getting use to.
Now for the positive. For two weeks, I did not have to style my hair. With my active lifestyle, this was a bonus. As each day passed, I became more comfy and cared less about what anyone thought. I felt free from the daily grind of styling my natural hair.
During the two weeks before my hair appointment, I continued to gain inspiration and knowledge from bloggers and photos on Instagram and Pinterest. People don’t always realize how much they help others by posting pictures and by sharing their personal journeys.
The bottom line is, I simply made a choice to stay with my theme of living an authentic life and to do exactly what I have been wanting to do without looking back.
The first week has been an emotional roller coaster!! My locs were installed on Saturday. Sunday I worked out and sweated like a dog. Monday’s hair wasn’t so bad, but after Wednesday’s spin class, I was feeling uncomfortable with all the frizz. I felt like my hair was going in every different direction.
On Thursday, I wore a loc sock, but I think it was a big fail. Lol!!
All week the natural chica’s in the office were so supportive and encouraging. By Friday, I felt raggedy and needed to do something.
My long time bestie was burrying her mother on Saturday and there was no way I could have showed up with my hair all frizzed up. I looked a hot mess so Friday after work I found a solution!!
I bought this funky wig!! Now my locs are happily nesting under my temporary hair. During my loc journey and until my locs begin budding, I think I will bounce back and forth, in and out of my wig; it’s so much fun!!
Whatever it is that you’re thinking about doing, just go ahead an do it! The outcome will mostly likely be better than you ever expected.
Keep it movin!! 🙂
-William Arthur Ward
My life is wonderful!! It is NOT perfect either, but I am truly grateful for everything. While I live in a beautiful home and have a few nice possessions; they are replaceable tangibles. I am more appreciative and grateful for my loving husband, my cool and quirky children, my hard working and hilarious brother, my adventurous sister, my sharp-tongued mother, my loyal friends, my health and more! I don’t take any of the loves in my life for granted, and as often as I can, I try to consistently communicate and share the gratefulness.
I’ve lived to enjoy age 50 and it’s nothing that I ever imagined. I’m not old! I’m wiser, more carefree, forgiving, fit and celebrating life. I intend to make this next decade and new chapter even more colorful than the last.
My 2015 summer vacation has ended and I have experienced one of the best summers ever!! So much fun that I slacked on my blogging. Lol! It’s all good tho because I try to keep up a reasonable perspective on life. During the fall and winter, my schedule is less flexible, so in the summer, I unwind and indulge more into my wants.
Celebrating my 50th Birthday was the highlight of my summer. I had good intentions of writing a post immediately after my birthday, but umm… as you can see, that didn’t happen. :0)
At the end of my birthday weekend, my face should have broken and cracked to itty bitty pieces from grinning and laughing so hard.
August 2014, I proclaimed that I wanted to celebrate my 50th birthday in a big way. “A big way” meant partying hard on a tropical island with an intimate group of family and friends. Hahaha! :0)
Little did I know that, for two years, hubby decided that he would surprise me with a 50th birthday bash. OMG!!
My three-day weekend of birthday festivities began with my bestie from high school driving up from Virginia to sweep me away to DC.
She hates driving bridges and, to get to me, she had to drive over several bridges. Thanks Diane!!
When I arrived at the hotel; her daughter; my God-daughter and flower girl in my wedding (27 years ago) was waiting for me in the hotel room.
The room was decorated with balloons, ribbons, along with a delicious box of chocolates. I was surprised and I felt very special. :o)
Before heading out to dinner, I was surprised again but this time with Champagne & chocolate covered strawberries!! We laughed, toasted to the evening, enjoyed the strawberries and left for dinner.
We dined, “Where the Birthday Magic happens,” OYA Washington, DC. Oh my goodness! The atmosphere and decor, the food and service and the overall vibe was so me. Lol!
Hailing a cab in DC on a Friday night was interesting. I am so used to the convenience of jumping in my car and driving to wherever I need to go, but the cab scene is a different world. I learned real quick..don’t be afraid to step off the curb and into the street to snag a cab! Lol!!
This eclectic three-story bar/lounge doesn’t look like much from the outside, but the venue kept us entertained throughout the night with a live Blue’s band and several DJ’s… the perfect setting to dance the night away.
The lead singer of the band, a 49-year-old loc wearing woman from Brooklyn, NY was cooler than cool! What better way than to celebrate my 50th with a cool ass 49-year-old diva from New York! Her raspy soulful voice made my night. I could have listened to her sing all night long. Heeeey!!
The music and dancing worked up our appetites. My friend insisted that I have a chili dog at DC’s famous Ben’s Chili Bowl. Well past midnight, the line to order snaked through the restaurant like it was a lunch-time crowd. I think I was the only one phased by the AM rush. Lol!! I wolfed down a chili turkey dog and french fries.
I was serenaded and embarrassed beyond words during breakfast at Chic & Ruth’s Delly in Annapolis Maryland!
Before we ate, employees, including the owner came to “see” me because they didn’t believe that I was 50! The owner also performed a cool magic trick for us. Lol! “Black don’t crack” felt like the theme of the hour. The owner told the entire restaurant over the PA system that it was my 50th Birthday and they sang happy birthday to “the girl with the nice tan!” Hahaha!
My God-daughter raved about their crab dip– I know why… that dip will make you slap somebody!!! Lord Geez….. They bake bread fresh on the premises and we sopped up the crab dip with the hot bread like we hadn’t eaten in days!!! When my ginormous crab omelet was served, I couldn’t finish it. None of us finished our meal… Great restaurant… loads of fun. Another eatery where folks line up and eagerly wait to eat.
After lunch/brunch we got on the road to drive to my home, where I found a crowd walking down that driveway singing, “Happy Birthday” to the tune of Steve Wonder’s Birthday song blasting from the DJ’s station in the backyard.
Lol! The moment was priceless and I will never forget it. It’s the first and only party I’ve ever had!
Too see who was out in the crowd, I climbed atop my car! Yes, climbed atop my car and danced to the singing and the DJ’s music Lol!!
This (me dancing on my car) is what authentic living is all about. Being true to who you are and not caring what others think. 🙂
Since I never had a birthday party and emphatically said that I did not want a party, Big Daddy Cain, was determined to make the party happen anyway. And boy did he do it right…. just the way I would have planned it for myself. No stuffy formal party, just a good old time with good music, delightful food and lots of fun.
The next day, (Sunday) the party continued with a few of the same friends. Lol!
Nothing beats having good people in your life who accepts you for who you are. The number of friends that you have is not important, it is the quality and authenticity of the relationships that matters most. I cherish my family and closely knit circle of friends. You guys are the best and thank you again for a lifetime of memories.