What Are You Waiting For? 3 Strategies To Jumpstart Your Plan.

Some mornings or evenings I pray and meditate. The value of both is immeasurable but the awareness has yet to steer me to consistently practice both each day.

In this new season, I realize my lack of consistency is because I have not made either a priority.  On the mornings that I do not make time to pray or meditate, I make excuses.  

I wake up early but my husband sleeps late.  Because he is asleep, I don’t want to wake him (there are other options).

I enjoy prayer and meditation with a diffuser (lavender oil) or scented lighted candles.  I lay on a yoga mat or sit on my meditation pillow. All of my tools sit in a designated corner of our bedroom, which is supposed to be my meditation and prayer space.  

The area is pretty and ideal for its intended purpose.  Two plants, a beautiful bronze meditation statue, stones, candles rest atop a wooded foot high table, and a backdrop of beautiful wall art.

The wall display is in my meditation corner of our bedroom.

Visually, my spot is ideal.  Although it is functional during the evening, it isn’t functional for most mornings. During my routine, I listen to soft music and don’t want to be bothered in the morning by having to use earphones.  

The new year has prompted an intentional shift in my thinking so I decided to scrutinize my excuses.  

Five months ago, my daughter moved out of the house. I readily planned to make the bedroom a bohemian themed prayer/meditation space. Saved on my Pinterest page are pretty images that inspire my future decor. No TV! No computer!   

My thinking?   

“Once the room is completely decorated, I can start using it.”

The hard truth is, I thought to myself, girlfriend,  why do you need to wait until the room is completely decorated?  That’s silly.  Start where you are.

Beautiful and new truffle dark hardwood covers the floor surface. Freshly painted light gray colored walls, a chocolate ceiling fan, covered windows, and even a bathroom is set to go.  The room is distraction-free, which is what I need to calm my busy mind. It is a clean slate. 

A clean slate, I realized is my goal. Executing plans often go astray with many of us but tomorrow always clears the way for a second, third, fourth, or however many chances we need. 

We are 13 days into the new year. I know that many of you made resolutions, some of you are participating in the Daniel Fast, a new fitness or health goal, a career change, or something else. 

Or, you may be the person (like me) who awaits ideal conditions. You know, once I get (fill in the blank), I will be ready to start. Are you the Type A personality (I still struggle) who has to get everything perfect first or maybe you are afraid. Perhaps the wait is to get the money to buy a new pair of sneakers or purchase a gym membership, a grocery overhaul to start cooking healthier, or maybe you are waiting to find an accountability partner to jump-start your new regime. Be honest with yourself.

Instead of waiting for my plants, rugs, pillows, and chairs, I decided to stop bullshitting around and to takeoff where I stood. Consider this post the fire under your butt to get you moving… go ahead. Get on with it and take off!

The night before, I moved my oversized meditation pillow, my yoga mat, three candle jars, a devotional book, and a lighter into the empty room. 

My clean slate.
Gifted to me from my aunt.

Morning came. After my son left for school, I lit the candles because I wanted to smell the scented candles while praying and meditating. Fifteen minutes later I re-entered the room to the heavenly scent of amber and musk. I smiled. The sun had not yet risen, so the darkness from outdoors maintained the nighttime feel, permitting the flame’s reflections to dance around the room.  

My first experience using the empty room was superb!  Once I closed my eyes, I could not see anything; therefore, the missing material items were insignificant.  It did not matter that a fluffy area rug was missing. The absence of tropical plants had no bearing on my ability to focus. All that mattered was me, my comfort, my thoughts, my breathing, and God.

The same mindset that delayed me from fulfilling my goals, maybe preventing you in a similar way from accomplishing yours. Use the three steps below to get started:

  1. Assess your REAL needs. Let’s say your sneakers are run down and you want to do a couch to 5k run. Your current budget does not allow for new sneakers and you know that jogging on rundown footwear is not good. Brainstorm and ponder over what can you do in the meantime? Just walk instead. Walking is underrated and has many benefits. Walking can help to reduce blood pressure, increase circulation, lower cholesterol and more. WALK on your lunch break at work. WALK at the mall. WALK in your neighborhood (if it’s lit and safe). WALK up steps instead of using escalators. By the time you buy your new sneakers, your body will be conditioned to start running.
  2. Explore your GOALS. What are you trying to accomplish? Weight loss, eating healthy, career change, relocating, enrolling in college, or something else? Break your goals down into bite-size pieces. Tackle your list one item at a time and stay consistent. No matter how small the steps, you CAN take ACTION today. Do what you can today and you will move forward toward your goal. If your goal is to lose weight and cannot afford a personal trainer, go to YouTube, search exercises at home, and START at home TODAY. There are literally thousands of “how-to” videos online. Select one that resonates with you.
  3. Use your RESOURCES and NETWORK. What if you want to start a business and are waiting until you save “X” amount of money? WHY WAIT? Start now! Create a file and begin your research. Learn everything you can about the topic. Look for FREE workshops and mixers for entrepreneurs. Visit the U.S. Small Business Administration’s webpage for resources to plan, launch, manage, and grow your business.

Something is tugging at your heart to make a change, but you keep waiting. Why are you waiting? The longer you wait, the greater the chances that you will not act on your plan. What are you waiting for? I waited needlessly and so are you. Now is the perfect time to start. Quit making excuses and stop procrastinating. Start now. YOU’VE GOT THIS! I believe in YOU!

By the way, Happy New Year!


I Underrated Anonymity

By now, most of you know that I moved from up north to down south.   For the first time in my 52-year life, I surged from familiar to unfamiliar.  From safe to vulnerable. Wase and mapquest are my new besties!

The constant noise of nearly everyone knowing me (and my family) and visa Versa has stopped. Before, I could walk out of the house with a bag on my head, and someone would inevitably recognize my heavy voice, my quick stride, my child or my car. As outgoing as I am, at times it was bothersome.

The constant and sporadic early morning, late night and occasional holiday phone calls for hubby’s excellent handyman skills have stopped. He is the kind guy who is often taken advantage of.

Then there were the desperate calls for emergency financial relief, sometimes for thousands of dollars. We didn’t know that we were Bank of America!

Our home, nicknamed “The Resort” by friends was also viewed by a few folks as a hotel. We had ongoing requests for live-ins. We needed a “No Vacancy” sign on the mailbox.

We started out as teenagers with nothing. We worked hard and have accomplished much more than we envisioned for ourselves at age 17 and 19.  Some people felt entitled to our prosperity. I cannot imagine what celebs have to contend with. We are caring and generous people but at some point, have to say no and people must find solutions to their problems from within and not from others.

The pleasure and relief I’m experiencing from the shenanigans may come across as selfish, but it is refreshing. I completely underrated anonymity.

The distance between what was home and what is home confirms the integrity or the lack of in many of my relationships.

Unreturned calls and messages, unresponsive and shorter text messages also bring further clarity, and it’s okay.

I am not referring to the frequency in which I talk to friends and family but more about the quality of our conversations. My best friend of 39 years has lived all over the world. The infrequency of our discussions never negated the quality of our relationship. We did then and still, today can pick up right where we left off and, regardless of distance, we’re always there for one another. Another bestie and I chat nearly every day.

With any big move from one space to another, we go through the process of decluttering and purging. In packing, we sift and sort through furniture, clothing, books, cookware, etc.., and chose to rid of select items. With relationships, the process occurs autonomously over time–some sooner others later, but the course is a natural occurrence in human behavior.

Greater solitude has emerged in my new environment. Every morning, nearby church bells ring precisely at 9. Some mornings, I awaken to familiar church hymns from childhood. It’s pleasant. I smile. When I sit on my front porch neighbors who drive by and whom I don’t know smile and wave.

The noise has stopped and I think better.

I can focus more on what really matters.

New goals. Yearly. Monthly. Weekly. Daily.

Quality over quantity.

In a good way, I am experiencing a great deal of discomfort in many new settings. Everything about my environment is unique. Pumping gas. Finding my favorite produce in new grocery stores. Locating the best physicians. Exploring the plethora of malls in Georgia.  Navigating traffic from hell and–rediscovering shortcuts.  Stepping onto high school grounds that are more like SJ college campuses with populations exceeding 3,000 students per school.  These experiences are forcing me to live more consciously. My visual and auditory senses are heightened daily like never before.

In no way am I suggesting that you move to a new state, but I am encouraging you to break free from your comfy circle.  Leap into a new and uncomfortable sphere and do that one thing that you’ve been afraid to act on.

Maybe it’s a career change you desire.  Perhaps it’s going back to school.  It might be making a big move. Don’t be afraid.  Lean into the “it.”

If moving happens to be that thing, don’t be afraid.  If you have a particular state in mind, visit and explore the area. If you’re uncertain about where you want to move, visit the cities or states that interest you. Do your research. Look at the economics, the climate, the job market, the schools (if applicable), housing, crime rate, and any activities that encompass your interests. Develop a strategic and well thought out plan to make it happen. I wish we had done it sooner, but I think the move occurred when it was supposed to.

In SJ, I was busy all of the time. Running here. Racing there. Over-committing. Just doing way too much. We sometimes confuse busyness with productivity. They are not the same.

When I slowed down, I realized I needed to make changes in my life. The clarity I’ve gained from our move inspired and helped me to adopt the vegan lifestyle. A few years ago, I tried Veganism but was unsuccessful. Now in five months, I’ve pulled myself away from chicken, turkey, seafood, and dairy.

I haven’t perfected the lifestyle and have caved into seafood on two or three occasions, but I am moving steadfastly forward. I felt great before, but I feel even better now. Vegetables have always been a part of my lifestyle, but I’m eating even more plants now, and it agrees with my body.

So what does all of this have to do with wellness?

Everything!

I’m reading, believe Bigger by Marshawn Evans Daniels. One of her quotes particularly resonated with me.

“Entering your purpose will first require an exit.”

I believe in the notion that everyone has a purpose for living. Furthermore, I see a connection between living with a purpose and experiencing wellness as a way of life. On our journey, both are present; one cannot exist without the other. We travel similar processes to uncovering purpose and to seek wellness.

In her book, Daniels talks a lot about God purposefully disrupting our lives. When you think of the word disrupt, you probably think of a force stopping or interrupting you while in the process of doing something.

Daniels suggests that the disruptions are “divine intervention” which can ultimately force us to leave a phase or place in our lives and enter another.

She writes, that disruptions:

  • Interrupt belief patterns
  • Recalibrate our faith
  • Detach us from the part of ourselves that is incapable of entering a bigger future
  • Create split-rock moments are catalyst to awaken us (Read the book!)
  • Help us to do away with an out dated self image, to retire an antiquated outlook
  • Realign us, elevate us and propel us to become a strong version of ourselves.

Y’all, her book is loaded with gems! Get a copy.

Since moving–and even with having an organized plan–I have experienced disruptions, but I did not recognize them or label them as such.

Rather than resist and react to the disruptions, I am learning to accept them (even previous ones) for what they are and to receive God’s wisdom to enter my purpose. You see, I had this plan regarding my next career move all mapped out, but I left God out of the equation, so Devine intervention is triggering changes.

My heart is open, and I am even more excited about the future. I no longer expect certain things and have embraced expectancy. Thanks to one of my favorite Podcasts, How Does She Do It, I know the difference. If you want to understand this, listen to the brilliant episode!

My purpose here is to encourage you to be fearless and to embrace change in your life.

The worse won’t happen, something better will. 

Change is part of your wellness journey. Wellness is not a destination and there is no finish line.

Stay encouraged.


To Hear, To Heed, and To Act

It was one week ago Saturday that I moved about 650 miles from the Jersey Shore to North East Georgia. The Jersey Shore is located in Atlantic County, New Jersey.  I lived in Atlantic County my entire life!  This move is huge!!  Bona-fide big! Bigger than any move in my lifetime.

Some family, a few friends, and many colleagues are asking, what the????  Lol!!  For many, the move was unexpected.

Last year this time, we did not think that in 2017, we would be living in Georgia.

I am spiritual. I believe that God, the Universe, or whomever you may believe in, speaks to us, but we must exist in a state of being, to hear, to heed, and to act on the messages.

For about a year, hubby and I talked about the possibility of selling our beautiful home of 14 years.  Our lovely home hosted dozens of holiday dinners, super bowl parties, New Years Eve parties, and other special events. Nicknamed, The Resort, by my friends because of the fantastic “get-away” feel, no one ever expected us to sell.

Due to the slow real estate market, we assumed our home would take close to a year to sell.  We listened to a nagging impulse (God’s message) to put the house on the market.

We did.  

And it sold.

Quickly!

Our home was placed on the market later in afternoon on a Tuesday.  We weren’t in a hurry to put a For Sale sign out front but the house was listed online.  The following day a buyer looked at our home at around 11 a.m.

They loved our home!

Placed a full offer.

The rest is history!

Nine months later and after a rewarding 29-year career in public safety, hubby reluctantly and abruptly retired. Long story short, the state gave him and others little choice.  Another unplanned change. Lol!

About a year and a half prior, we looked at post retirement homes in different states but honestly, we didn’t make or foresee any changes in the near future.

One state, in particular, felt like home. Georgia. Although hundreds of miles away, it had the feel of the Garden State.  An abundance of blooming trees and flowers; just like home.

On one visit, we fell in love with a home and decided to place an offer.  Our offer was accepted and we were stunned…but elated!!   Lol!

We believed and understood that a higher power was at work and acceptance of the offer (by the builder) meant that the house was designated for us by God.

Although hubby retired, my intentions were to continue working for the school district. But then something happened.

Somewhere and somehow a conversation started about me retiring and us just packing up and getting the he** out of NJ.  It was divine intervention. While I had 15 years in with the board of education, I thought I’d be there longer.

Oh well.  Our son was finishing eighth grade.  Ideally, this was the perfect time to move. The best time to move a teenager is before they start high school.  

Tomorrow isn’t promised.  Last year several family members died.  Four years from now could look different and the opportunity to make the move may not exist. Life is too short to delay distinct opportunities. 

All of the energy, God’s voice, the whispers, and the signs said to move.  So we did.  🙂
Now here’s where you really need to pay attention.

“They” fall into the category of naysayers, haters, frienemies, jealous types, etc…  they started throwing questions and negative comments at me.  “Can you afford to retire?”  “How old are you?”  “Are you old enough to retire and collect?”  “Where will you find a job?”  “Do you know what you’re doing?” “You’re leaving a good paying job.”  “They don’t pay well down south!”

OMG!!  The dumb shit that people say to you when you’re doing what they wish they had the courage to do is amazing!!!

Only YOU know what is best for YOU.  Don’t allow people who don’t have your best interest at heart to dissuade you from making important life decisions. 

All the cliche sounding quotes about change and fear are true.  And there are many….

For me, this move was about shifting to a slower gear and to simplify my life.  

Have less.

Do more.

Live purposefully.

Live authentically.

Live happily.

This process of moving to a new state has taught me to continue to trust in myself, trust my husband, and more importantly, trust in God, for he has the master plan and he knows best.

If you do not believe in God, it’s okay, I don’t judge.  🙂  There is energy in our universe.  If you listen to the whispers in your ear or the voices in your head they will guide you to precisely where you are supposed to be.

The ancient proverb that things happen for a reason is true.  At 52 years-old, I have dozens of personal stories to prove this doctrine.  

Move forward with flexibility and be open to change. A future post will provide helpful moving tips… stay tuned.

“Hear counsel, receive instruction, and accept correction, that you may be wise in the time to come.” (AMP)    –Proverbs 19:20

My move hasn’t gone 100% as planned but it has come pretty darn close to it as possible. The other day I was asked, how am I adjusting.

Well.  

I feel at home. I’m living in a new home with a new zeal, which was intentional.

I didn’t want to try and recreate my Jersey Shore vibe in the Peach state.  Instead, I’m starting with a clean slate and with amenity.  None knows me and I love it!  

The Cherry Blossom and Crape Myrtle trees are plentiful.

The southern hospitality is a refreshing change.  

Many of the same stores are here but I do miss Wawa.  

I no longer have a rigid schedule and wake up without an alarm clock.

It’s hot as hell and I love it! I despise the cold and had to tolerate it for nearly 52 years.  

My 14-year-old is wearing the biggest damn smile that I’ve seen in a long time.

Life is good.  I am overflowing with gratitude because I am fabulously blessed.  

Most days, I say, “pinch me!”  I’m loving life!! 

What’s next?  To enjoy each day, to give back to the community, and to allow God’s wisdom to guide me in this next chapter.

Smooches and thanks for stopping by!

Have a fabulous day!  🙂