Books of all genres are published yearly and in various sizes. Some books are small with a few chapters while other novels are written with over 700 pages. Novels can be captivating, heartfelt, insightful, emotional, adventurous, and enchanting; the list is endless. I can use many of the same words to describe the many chapters of our 34 year relationship.
Today we celebrate 29 years of being best friends, husband, and wife. I don’t take the years lightly because when marrying at a young age, the odds for a happy and long-lasting marriage are stacked against you. I purposely use the word “happy” because a lot of couples are married and even for long periods of time, but they are unhappy. Think about it. How many times have you heard of marriages of 20 years long, ending in divorce?
Two years ago, I wrote Happily Hitched For 27 Years. I listed 27 lessons that I learned from our marriage. Last year, I added to the list and blogged Happy 28th Anniversary Us. Yet I continue to learn new lessons. If you are in a relationship, married or have intentions of marrying, you should read my posts and share my lessons with your family and friends. I wish somebody had a told me these things beforehand. Sure, we all make mistakes but some lessons can be learned from the mistakes of others.
As we celebrate our 29th anniversary, we are humbled and grateful that we are merely here to celebrate as one.
This time last year, I could have never predicted where we are today. 🙂
This month, we begin a new and exciting chapter of our life. Hubby retired and I am on his heels– less than two weeks but who’s counting? Lol! We put our beautiful home, our friends called “The Resort,” up for sale and it sold within 24 hours. Yikes!!A later post will provide more details.
My point now is to say that the strength of any relationship comes from having faith in one another and commitment to the values established the relationship. Mutually Inclusive in the values are trust and honesty; which are the makings of any good relationship.
I’m told how “lucky” I am because I have a “good man.” Well, he’s lucky too, because he has a “good woman.” ☺
“The most important decision about your goals is not what you’re willing to do to achieve them, but what you are willing to give up.” -Dave Ramsey
Outsiders only see the fruits of the labor in the garden. They never witnessed the sowing of the soil or the grueling work of kneeling in dirt pulling weeds for extended periods of time in the blazing heat.
In our case, some folk only see the homes, the cars, the vacations, and other stuff that really doesn’t matter. We are rich in health, love, family and loyal friends, but not one of those have anything to do with money. We work like everyone else.
For 11 years and while working a full-time job, I worked on my undergraduate degree. Hubby was supportive, encouraging, and picked up the slack at home. Back then, vacations weren’t in our vocabulary. Someone once told me that I was “crazy for stressing myself out trying to get my degree.” But… this same person didn’t hesitate to enjoy a margarita in the jacuzzi. Smh… They are no longer in my life.
Much earlier in our relationship, when hubby did not rank high enough on the fire department’s civil service list and wasn’t hired, he was crushed. I stood behind him and pushed him to train and to study harder. He may have doubted himself but I believed in his childhood dream of a career as a firefighter. We wanted our own place but realized that we couldn’t afford it, so I lived at home and he lived with his sister.
When we decided to buy our first home (early 90’s), we needed to save a lot of money. We both worked full-time jobs and part-time jobs. We never ate out. We stopped buying snacks at Wawa (convenient stores in Jersey). We only bought necessities. I remember wearing a nice pair of black pumps to work. The bottom sole was worn and there was a small hole in the bottom of the shoe.
I put cardboard inside my shoe so my foot wouldn’t be exposed to the ground.
Our jobs weren’t high paying but we sacrificed and worked our asses off. In one year’s time, we exceed our goal of saving $7,000 and saved just over $10,000!
These are only a few of many examples of the sacrifices we’ve made and examples of how hard we worked for our family.
I didn’t sit back and expect him to do for me and he didn’t sit back and wait for me do everything.
Let me tell you, the grass always looks greener on the other side but you don’t know what folks are doing to keep that green and plush grass. So as one of my favorite podcasters says, Keep your eyes on your own paper!”
We’ve both dealt with colleagues and/or so-called friends trying to entice us to cheat and that becomes messy. Some couples rebound from infidelity while others do not. It’s just not worth the agony that comes with it.
Marriage is a full time job. Add kids to the mix and the job is even harder but we made it thus far! 🙂
We’re busy as hell right now but will reap the benefits of our labor later this month and as the year progresses.
Today we’ll celebrate by going out to dinner to one of our favorite restaurants, reflect on the past 29 years and pray for 29 more happy and healthy years.
Happy Anniversary to us!!
Hubby’s 20th High School Reunion