Health & Wellness by Lexa's Journal

My mission in life is to not merely survive, but to thrive: and do so with passion, compassion, humor, and style. – Maya Angelou

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An eternal optimist, always wearing a smile. Must haves: sunshine, fitness (jogging, weight training, & CrossFit), reading, good food, writing, music, and fun with family and friends.

  • >The Economics of You: Are You Ready?

    >   Today I read another eye opening article in the NY Times about unemployment and the economy.  Below is the link.  Take a moment to read this article because I believe that this is excellent motivation as to why we shouldn’t become complacent in our personal and professional lives.  We must continue to learn new skills to market ourselves and to remain current in the job market.  Regardless of the false sense of job security you may have with your employer nothing is guaranteed anymore.

              While the article reports that, “men have suffered the largest numbers of job losses in this recession,” it also reported that, “women from 45 to 64 years of age — whose long-term unemployment rate has grown rapidly.” You may be under 45, employed and think that you’re safe from the rhetoric, but you’re not.  You may be 45 or older and feel safe, but should be careful to not be overly confident.  Regardless if you’re married, single, engaged or just simply have a special friend, I believe that we should care for ourselves just as we care for our families. For those of us who have a significant other, at any given time, that person could no longer be a part of our lives.  For those who are single, I’m not telling you anything that you don’t already know- that your paycheck is the only paycheck and losing your income could make the difference in having a warm place to live or sleeping on the street or in a shelter.   
              In previous posts, I talked about how, as women we sacrifice for our family but not for ourselves. It won’t hurt our children if they have one less activity, so that we can take time to develop ourselves; in the end the sacrifice will benefit the entire family. Now is the time to do something for you.  Doing for you can also involve taking an online class, reading books other than steamy romance novels, that can help you learn a new skill.  The activity can involve taking a class at the community college, the women’s shelter, or even a free workshop offered at the public library.  The point is that you should continue to educate yourself in whatever area that is of interest you.  For the most part, I believe in being proactive- I am not naïve and think that that we are always going to be prepared for every situation, but I firmly believe that a little preparation can go a long way.  Over the weekend, I met a 52 year old woman who told me that two years ago, she came home to find a note taped on the bathroom mirror and her husband of 32 years gone. He’d left. Their two children were adults and no longer lived at home. She had no skills and struggled for two years to recover.  She went back to school and is now working in the medical field, but said that she continues to struggle.  Ask yourself today, what are you doing for you.

    The New Poor: Millions of Unemployed Face Years Without Jobs

    I will survive: crises of all kinds require a clear-headed–but flexible–program of action. What’s your plan?(TOTAL RETURN): An article from: Black Enterprise

    Women & Money: Owning the Power to Control Your Destiny

  • >Dinner: A Quick Fix

    >If you have any form of a family living in your home, and you take some responsibility for meal preparation, then on some occasion (probably many) you’ve undoubtedly made your way home agonizing over what you were going to cook for dinner.  Let me first say that I am extremely grateful and thankful that I have a job, a home, a family, and food in my cupboard to prepare a meal. With that said, I always feel like I have to be the one to decide what’s for dinner and sometimes it’s frustrating.  I’ll ask my husband, what he’d like for dinner and his response is always the same predictable but pleasant response, “what ever you want to cook.”  Some days, I want to say, how about sautéed Alpo?  To give my husband credit, he’s trying to be accommodating by leaving the decision to me and not demanding steak and potatoes or a four course meal every night.

    Anyway, when it comes to dinner, especially when schedules are tight and I am limited on time, I pride myself in creating a quick dish that can be prepared in one-pot. You know- throw everything in one pot and hope it’s edible.   One pot means less preparation, less time, and less cleaning- all of which can be appreciated if you have limited time. The only requirement that’s extremely important to me is that the meal is somewhat healthy- translation: low cholesterol, lower calorie, and low fat.  With all of this said, and with encouragement from a few readers, I’ve decided to post some of my quick recipes.  I am not a chef nor do I have any professional training, but I do enjoy cooking.   So beginning with this post, I will occasionally post recipes.  If it sounds appealing, by all means, try it.  If it sounds disgusting, try it anyway, you might be surprised. Substitute the ingredients that you don’t like.  I don’t eat red meat, so you’ll see turkey where you might prefer beef.  If you try the recipe, please share with readers and myself what you liked or disliked.  If you have a favorite recipe to share, please do so.  We’re all in this together and I grow tired of eating the same meals week after week. 

                        Turkey Kielbasa Vegetable & Pasta Dish

    2      14 oz packages of Hillshire Farm Turkey Polska Kielbasa
    1      10 oz bag shredded carrots
    1      16 oz Wish Bone (or any brand) Red Wine Vinaigrette Dressing or plain Italian
    5-6   Minced fresh garlic cloves
    1      5 oz bag of fresh baby spinach (I prefer organic)
    24    Cherry tomatoes (you can add more, that’s about all I had in the refrigerator)
    1/4   Cup of olive oil (this is an estimate, I don’t measure)
    1      Tablespoon (approximate) of Durkee Grill Creations St. Louis Style Smokey
             Mesquite Seasoning
    1      Tablespoon brown sugar*
    1      Tablespoon or teaspoon crushed red pepper*
    1      Box of Bow Ties pasta (preferably whole wheat) or whatever kind of pasta you favor

    Cut the kielbasa in whatever shape you prefer.  I prefer to cut them in half, then half again. Toss in large skillet.
    Mince garlic and toss in skillet
    Add olive oil
    Stir and cook on low until garlic softens
    Add full bottle of vinaigrette dressing
    Add Carrots
    Cover and cook on higher temperature until carrots are tender.  When carrots are tender, simmer on low and add the tomatoes.
    Boil water and cook pasta
    After pasta is cooked and drained, stir in baby spinach and simmer on low until spinach has cooked down. Fresh spinach cooks quickly, so don’t leave it for more than 5 minutes.
    Serve over pasta and enjoy!

    *I love the combination of sweet & spicy- if you don’t like this flavor, skip one or both ingredients.

    This amount easily serves three adults and one child in my family; however, the adults in your family may eat much more than mine, so judge accordingly.

  • >CAREERS: New & Changing

    >The other day I read an online newsletter, which prompted me to write this post. So for those of you who are thinking about changing careers or re-entering the slumping job market, check out monster’s online journalism newsletter. I love this newsletter because it provides current but concise tips that can help you get up to speed on job search tips. Visit http://www.monster.com/?disRe=true  and click on the “advice” tab and begin searching for a topic of interest. You may not agree with every statement, so pick and chose what will work for you, but I am certain that if you’ve been out of the job market for awhile, you will learn a few tricks to help you along. If you don’t have time to read the information right away; print it out- make a “career” folder and read it when you have short pockets of time.
    I’m a firm believer in being prepared. So many people sit idle and wait for that great opportunity, yet when the opportunity arrives; most are not prepared for it. For many years, I rode around in my car with a folder (kept under the driver’s seat) filled with crisp and updated resumes- Just waiting for an opportunity. Well, guess what? One day I was getting my hair done. My stylist introduced me to a client and potential employer who asked me to send her my resume. I did better; I ran out to my car and gave her an updated resume. I don’t have to tell you; she was impressed. This is an excellent example of being prepared. Ask yourself, “What change am I looking for?” Are you ready for this change? If not, what do you need to do to prepare for the change? Answer the questions, stop procrastinating, and get busy!  Remember, “Think Forward!”

  • Liquidate For A Better Life

    STOP!

    Slowly inhale through your nose… hold it… now slowly exhale through your mouth. Repeat two or three times. I am instructing you to do so because so many of you- I mean “us” are or at some point, have been caught up in the race of living. We begin our day by getting out of bed feeling fatigued. Immediately, our minds begin to race with all the “to do’s” of the day and before we’ve even brushed our teeth, we’re sighing with trepidation. This is ridiculous! We cannot be everything to everyone in our household. Understand that the world will not stop revolving if every item does not get checked off on your “to do” list is important.

    My children are 13 years apart; the lapse of 13 years has taught me well and I’d like to pass on a few words of wisdom on to you. I will admit that I was once guilty of the cardinal sin of putting everybody before me. Notice that I said, “was,” but no more! When my daughter was little, I thought that EVERYTHING HAD TO BE PERFECT. Her clothes, including her undershirts, were perfectly starched and ironed.  Every one of her gazillion hair barrets matched her extensive wardrobe. When she began eating regular food, I wouldn’t dare feed her pre-packed baby food. No! My baby had to have freshly steamed vegetables, puréed in the food processor.

    I had to look put together all the time and never left the house without makeup, ironed clothes, etc… I went well above and beyond to grocery shop, cook a well balanced meal for my family, clean the house, take care of ALL my hubby’s needs, maintain a decent GPA, while attending school, blah…blah…blah…blah… and the list goes on! I KNOW that you get what I’m saying.  Like I said, it’s ridiculous! If you’re doing this STOP IT RIGHT NOW! If you’re not, good for you, you’ve got more sense than I had.

    My point here is simply that we must establish and maintain balance in our lives. We cannot steadily juggle multiple items 365 days a year and not expect things to come crashing down. In just the past two months, I’ve had several serious conversations with a few women and so many women are stressed out and cannot see an end to the rat race. I am not saying that we should not take our responsibilities as moms, wives, and so forth seriously; I am simply saying that we should seek balance and not loose ourselves in the process. With all that you do, figure out what is really important, as well as, what you do for yourself, and start liquidating. Ha! Ha! That’s what I like to call it liquidating. So what if the kids eat a decent cereal for dinner; if it’s good enough to start their day with, then it’s good enough to end their day. Stop saying yes to things that you don’t have time for; and stop accommodating people that you don’t like. Eject the baggage from your life and you will feel better. Trust me, I’ve done it and it feels good.

    Countless studies report that stress can have irreversible affects on our body. So, if you don’t take time to nurture your own physical, mental, and spiritual well being, you will be of no use to anyone in your family. Below are several websites that I encourage you to check out. The “Strike It Healthy” website and program was developed by a former colleague and friend. Dr. Therese Pasqualoni, she provides excellent advice and resources, supported by facts that can help you physically get back on track.

    The second website was highly recommended by a dear family member who takes great pride in educating herself about her nutrition and her overall health. The last website is More magazine. I’ve been reading this wonderful magazine for several years now. I call it the magazine for real women that touch on the issues and challenges that we face in life. The magazine also has incredible inspiring stories that will inspire to pursue your dreams.

    Commit to yourself to make overall healthier choices about your life. You will find that you will become happier, more productive, and will overall improve the quality of your life. Include yourself on your “to do” list. Lastly, please share any ideas or tips that you have which helps you to maintain a healthier lifestyle; I’m always looking for new ideas. “Think forward!”

    Websites

    http://www.strikeithealthy.com/index.htm

    http://www2.healthyimmunity.com/

    http://www.more.com

     

  • BOARDING SCHOOL: Part-Time Parenting?

    >Recently I ran into a friend and former colleague, whom I haven’t seen in many years. We briefly chatted about our careers and our families. He mentioned that his job required him to travel so his children attended boarding school. All of his comments about boarding school were positive. For some reason, the one comment that stood out in my mind was that, “it really helped with the homework thing.”

    His comment really got me to thinking about boarding school. Could I send my son to a boarding school? Would he receive a better education there? What else would my son learn? I certainly understand what he said about homework. Any responsible parent, who lived through the arduous experience of helping their child with homework, will tell you it can be exhaustive, challenging, and a real test of your patience.

    A part of me believes that sending my son off to boarding school would be “passing the buck” on my parental obligations.

    What about sports and other extra curricula activities? Yes; some boarding schools have strong athletic programs, but what about being there to show my support for him. I’d miss out on the cherished memories of continuing to watch him grow as an athlete, as a young adult or miss his performance on the debate team. Sure, I’d attend some games and other school activities, but I would certainly miss more than I could attend.

    As a parent, how can I be certain that my son is being treated equitably? Yeah, I would miss a great deal of treasured moments with him. Most of all, he would miss the positive influences of his dad; which cannot be replaced by any academic program.

    The life and personality of a teenager evolves slowly. If my son attended boarding school, both of us would miss out on all the life learning opportunities that take place everyday at home.   Of course, I know first hand experience that raising a teenager is one of the most challenging experiences of parenthood.

    I can be honest and say that having my teenager away at school during some of the most tumultuous year’s sounds appealing. After all, the staff would have the responsibility of making sure he made it to class on time, that he had adequate study time. The staff would have the heated and ugly debates on why he has a curfew, and making certain that he went to bed at a reasonable time- All I would have to do is call him daily, pay the tuition, and be a loving & dutiful full-time parent on the weekends, holidays, and breaks. Some parents wouldn’t dare speak these words, fear of being perceived as a bad parent, but it’s just a thought and I’m certain that someone out there shares this sentiment with me.

    The Art & Science Group, a marketing research & consulting firm based in Baltimore conducted a comparative study for The Association of Boarding Schools (TAB). This “contemporary study of secondary school education” reported that 91% of boarding school students found their school was academically challenged; compared to 70% private & 50% public school students. The study also reported that boarding school students spent more time doing homework felt more academically prepared for college, felt more prepared for “non academic life,” and earned more advanced degrees than private and public school students. I wondered about the quality of relationships that boarding school students have with their parents and siblings; the study generally reported that 86% of boarding school students reported being very satisfied or somewhat satisfied with their family life. It did not give any in depth details about relationships with  parents or siblings. To read the complete report, I contacted the marketing firm who conducted the study and was told that the research data was proprietary information; TAB would have to approve release of the information. If TAB is genuinely concerned about educating the public about boarding schools, they should publish complete reports and not partially edited data that could mislead readers.

    Did the study change my mind about boarding school? No. It did however; interest me enough to want to further learn more on the topic. As a parent, I firmly believe that I should be well rounded and well informed. Being open minded enough to educate myself on unfamiliar topics related to parenthood is important to me and to the overall well being of my family. Will my son attend boarding school? Probably not, but ask me again in seven years.

    Readings
    http://www.ourkids.net/school/associations.php?id=tabs
    http://boardingschools.com/for-schools.aspx
    http://www.facebook.com/boardingschool
    http://www.artsci.com/

  • Mother May I…

    >Have you considered inviting your mother to live with you? It’s been nearly six years since my husband and I moved my 76 year old mother in with us. With idealistic intentions and unrealistic expectations, we welcomed her into our home. I’m not quite sure where to begin, but I will start by saying, think long and carefully before you take this step. We are at a juncture now, where we think we made a mistake.
    At the time of  Mother’s move in- Yes, I’ve been teased by family and friends, because I call her “mother” not “mom”, but both my brother and I have always called her that. Anyway, when she moved in, our household consisted of my husband and I, our 15 year old daughter, 2 ½ year old son, and 3 ½ year foster child, whom we were trying to adopt. Oh yeah, our cup ran over! From the very beginning, she tried to take the lead role. She believed that we invited her to move in because we needed a matriarch of sort to run our home. She wasn’t even close to the mark and perhaps we didn’t make ourselves clear enough as to why the invitation was extended. We were concerned about her living alone. She’s self sufficient and still drives her relatively new car; however, she has (unspoken) tendencies that would require someone to periodically check on her.

    Just as there are layers to ones personality, there are deep layers to this process and each time I think I’ve got a phase or layer down pat, another springs on me like a teenager drifting through puberty. It just never stops. Sigh… Then there are the feelings of guilt. I often think, okay, I know I gave my mother hell as a teenager, she made sacrifices for me growing up, I gave her a run for her money, and so what’s up Tanya, stop whining, bite the bullet, shut up, and do what you’re suppose to do… “Honor thy mother…” “.. and thy days may be longer…” No disrespect, but the days seem longer and longer. Ha! It sounds good, but none of that stuff is working for me.

    The dynamics of a home changes when anyone moves in, but especially so, when it’s a mother. You take for granted those discrete conversations between husband and wife that occurred openly in your home. Those conversations must now move behind the closed doors of the closed doors. Spontaneous intimate moments tend to be more spontaneously planned moments. You might be subjected to frequent reminders of your inability to raise children and run a household. Your quick fixes for dinner on hectic days may be viewed as neglect. Your lack of desire to physically punish your child may be taken as “sparing the rod & spoiling the child.” There’s a constant reminder that you’re not doing things the way she does them, which really means, that you’re not handling your business the right way. You might be thinking that these moments are no different than when you have children, but there are differences; you can control the movements of your children, you cannot control the movements of an adult.

    I’ve already told our daughter, who is now a junior in college, to value her education, to be passionate about her career, and if a time comes, where she has to move us in, make sure she has an in-law’s quarters at her home. We’ll need our own tiny kitchen, a bathroom, and a bedroom. I want to give her and her family their space. I have a strong personality and, with the exception of a few things, am very capable of following in my mothers footsteps. I don’t even want to go there!

    The tone of this post may not sound like it, but those around me will tell you that I am an upbeat, positive, optimistic person who loves to laugh.  Perhaps for some people, as they age, they see the darker side of life; while others are thankful that they are alive and well and enjoy every waking minute.  Mother, unfortunately, is not the later.  I’m not sure why.  Yes, I’ve asked and only receive bitterness and anger that she cannot get past.

    I try to look at the brighter side of life. The glass is always half full. My mother is alive, where my father died when I was age 17. Mother is healthy and can do for herself. Mother has healthy siblings nearby that she can hang out with and talk to on the telephone. My mother has 76 years of wisdom to share. Mother is happy? No. Yes, my glass is half full right now; however, the inner core of self is and has been feeling unfathomable turmoil and I cannot shake it. The home climate has changed from warm to cool. Mother, I love you dearly! Mother, may I help you find a place that is more comfortable for both of us?