Health & Wellness by Lexa's Journal

My mission in life is to not merely survive, but to thrive: and do so with passion, compassion, humor, and style. – Maya Angelou

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An eternal optimist, always wearing a smile. Must haves: sunshine, fitness (jogging, weight training, & CrossFit), reading, good food, writing, music, and fun with family and friends.

  • >Riding The Wave: My Style!

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          When I was 20, my daughter’s age, I was inundated with advice and pressure from my mother to do everything the way that she wanted me to do things, and boy oh boy, did that bring on some serious drama. To the point where I was kicked out of the house.  I furiously rebelled and did the opposite of what she told me to do, even when I knew she was right.  I did the opposite mainly because she was so persistent about me doing things “her way” and wouldn’t indulge me at the least to try and see things from my perspective.   The point is that in her mind, I was still a child, who wasn’t entitled to an opinion (even at 20) and should continue to do as I was told… period.   I told myself that if I had children, I would never pressure them with such ridiculous demands. 

         Fast forward to some 20 some years later and yikes!!  My words have come back to haunt me!   Oh man… they come quicker than we want them to.  My daughter will be 21 in two weeks.  She’s a film major completing her junior year in college and was recently presented with an incredible opportunity that would send most parents into a tizzy and them some!  I’m still laughing…    laugh or cry?  In my eyes, she’s still a baby, who’s not quite as hip as her counterparts (or so I think).  

         She left today to go on a Four-City East Coast Tour with an upcoming Hip-Hop Artist who’s the opening act for a Grammy Award Winning Hip Hop Artist & Producer.   She’s filming a documentary on this promising  (so I’m told) hip-hop artist, so she’s following him with her camera everywhere on the tour.  

         If this had been me, my mother would have forbidden me to go and when that didn’t work, she would have put up every roadblock humanly possible to prevent me from going.  Although I have reservations, and more so about particulars regarding her safety, I feel very strongly that I have to give my daughter her space to grow.  She must grow as an artist, as a person, as a professional, and as a woman.  She will never grow with me smothering her with overbearing advice, so the challenge is finding the balance.  Being able to give her advice without being overbearing, offensive, or judgmental; yet supportive and encouraging. It isn’t easy, but is very possible and I am living proof.   I’m confident that I’ve been successful of this for two reasons.  First, the mere fact that she told me about the tour, because she didn’t have to share it with me.  Second, she invited me to attend one of the concerts and, you bettcha!  I will be there popping my fingers and jamming to the beat- all the while, checking out who’s on stage with her and then some.   With any luck, I’ll get to meet the artist whom she’s filming the documentary on.  After all, in addition to being her face book friend, I guess I’m a cool enough mom because I’m her subject’s face book friend too.

         If all goes as plans, I will be attending one of the concerts this weekend and will definitely post on my experience. 
      
         I also want to say  that allowing my daughter to grow is also allowing me to grow as a parent and as a person.  With a seven year old son coming along, I’m certain that I will need to further adapt my parenting style, as all children are not the same.  Raising a daughter hasn’t always been easy.  For me, the later teenage years were the most challenging.  I feel as though we’ve ridden the wave of turmoil and now it’s time for my daughter and I to get to know one another as adults, something that I still haven’t been able to accomplish with my 76 year old mother.


  • >Remaining Present on Easter

    >It’s two days past Easter and, for those of us living in South Jersey, the weather is amazing!  It’s 88 degrees outside! We haven’t felt temps like this since early fall last year.  With the weather being so nice, you might be wondering, why the heck am I not outside enjoying the weather, but I really am enjoying the day.

    I’m sitting in my kitchen nook, doing what I do best:  multi-tasking!!  Lol!  The sliding glass door is open; all of the windows are open; and the ceiling fan is circulating an abundance of fresh air throughout the house.  I’m babysitting for a friend.  My son and two other kids ages 7 & 9 just came in from outside and are drained from playing in the heat.  Gee, I never thought that I could even think about mouthing the word “heat” when just a month ago, we were buried in snow. Anyway, all three kids are quietly lying on the sofa watching “Finding Nemo” for the umpteenth time!  And me…. Walla!   I’m trying to get my writing thing on…

    Recently, a colleague gave me a copy of Russell Simmons, “Do You!” It’s a great read, a little philosophical, but yet, incredibly thought provoking. Quite a few passages have really struck me, one such passage reads:

             “The most powerful step in realizing your potential is simply to be present in the
             world.  That might seem so obvious that it barely bears repeating, but operating
             outside of the present is actually what separates all of us from the happiness we
             desire.”  “Too often we spend our lives drifting between the past and the future,
             instead of rooting ourselves in the moment.  And living like that, you become
             your worst enemy.  You wait for things to happen instead of making them
             happen.  You imagine what happiness is like instead of appreciating the
             happiness that is already present in your life…  You must embrace the present. 
             Never forget that…”
    These are some very powerful words that moved me to reflect on my own life.  I should say further reflect, because not a day goes by where I’m not thinking about how I could have done something better or handled a situation differently, or something along those lines.  Anyway, more specifically I started thinking my personal life.  I am definitely happy, but recall moments when I’ve had thoughts such as, “I will be glad when my son is old enough to bath without supervision.” “I can’t wait until the summer arrives,” or some other thought that doesn’t involve the present and involves me “drifting in the future.”

    I’ve taken Russell’s (in my mind, we’re friends now) words to heart and, particularly Easter Sunday tried to apply his principal.

    As usual, we hosted another family dinner at our home.  Because of typical family issues that have occurred over the past two years, for once, I really didn’t want to host dinner.  But decided to host dinner anyway and more so for my elderly aunts.  They’re getting too old to cook the big dinners; it’s their time to sit back and enjoy.  There’s a long history, but the short is, they’ve been a part of my life forever–  the good—the bad— and the—you know the rest.  Including my mom, there were nine sisters; seven are still living; five still live in the area.  As with many families, there are serious generational differences and, as you might imagine, sometimes the differences clash. 

    Drifting between the past and the future revealed some unsettling emotions and those emotions almost tripped me into bagging Easter dinner.  Reflecting on my friend Russell’s words inspired me to host dinner and “embrace the present.”   He was right!  Easter dinner turned out to be wonderful!  The 20 something’s bridged nicely with the 40 something’s who bridged nicely with the 65 & older group.   I focused on the present and genuinely enjoyed my day. 

    F    or those of you who’ve already unknowingly mastered Russell’s concept, great! I’d love for you to share more of your wisdom with me and with others, please post your thoughts.  If the idea is new to you, try it. This concept can apply to your career, a project, or anything else that you’ve been thinking about doing. Don’t wait for the perfect opportunity to “do you,” start acting now.  Think forward, but remain present!

  • >A New Look…

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    The fireplace is sizzling, dinner is cooking, mom is out until tomorrow, and the environment is almost idyllic for writing- Or so I thought. I’m listening to the sound of the fireplace crackle with a little background noise: light snoring from hubby, my favorite TV show, Devine Design by Candise Olson, and my son reading aloud. Perhaps this really isn’t the right time to write, but when will it be? To be honest, I’m not quite sure when… I’m just trying to muli-task and get a few items crossed off of my to-do list. The truth of the matter is that, I’d rather be the one snoring on the sofa; after all, I worked another six-day work week this week. Our school district is making up snow days so, for the first time in over eight years, I find myself working on a Saturday and, it’s kicking my butt. I’m not complaining, because in these tough economic times, I’m happy to be employed.

    Okay, I’m getting a little side tracked here. The spring like weather last week and the forecast of 78 degree temperatures for the upcoming week has put me in the cleaning, spruce up, throw out, and get ready for the summer mode. Can you tell?  I’ve changed the look of my blog; new colors and a new format. What do you think?  I’m still not 100% set on it and I am still looking at other possibilities, because it usually takes me awhile to decide on décor. So please, if you could take a moment and share your opinion, I’d really appreicate it.

    Anyway, I’m suppose to be writing a little something about getting organized, but with all the distractions, I’m not feeling very organized right now. In any case, below are a few ideas.
    I think this is the perfect time of year to look around the home, tidy up a bit, and get your place in better order. Soon it will be time to bring out the spring and summer clothes and other spring and summer necessities. This is the ideal time to clean out the closet- you know- if you haven’t worn it in a year give it away, donate, throw out, or have a yard/garage sale. I like to get my son involved by asking him to help by picking out toys, books, etc… that he doesn’t use and get rid of them.
    I cannot stand clutter and know that if everything in the home is assigned a space, then naturally, you will spend less time looking for things and can become better at managing your time. Look around your place; what aren’t you using? What’s broken? What’s ugly that you’ve been meaning to get rid of or replace? Those are just a few questions to get you going and usually help me to get moving. I also like to reflect back on the past season to think about what worked and what didn’t work and try to improve the space or contents of the space for next season.
    Since it’s tax season (I know the deadline is very near), this is a great time to decide what to do with the previous years documents. File them away, scan them into a file on your computer, shred them, or whatever needs to be done with them. Just do something with then that doesn’t involve shoving them anywhere to get them out of site.

    Winter coats, hats, sweaters, scarves, etc… that are outgrown, need cleaning, sewing, etc… should be immediately dealt with. Get items that need to be cleaned taken care of now, so you don’t have to do it when the season returns. The same goes for boots and shoes- take them to the shoe repair shop now, so they’ll be ready next season.
    I don’t work in the summer and prefer not to, so now is the time that I take stock in my summer needs. I spend a great deal of time at the pool in the summer, so next week, I’ll be taking inventory of our swim gear, towels, and pool toys. I’m already looking for coupons and sales items on sun screen, benadryl, band aids, and other non perishable items. If you have other tips, please share; I am always looking for ideas to become more efficient and ways to save money. 
    For now, I’ve gotta go figure out how to squeeze my workout in today, because the summer will be here before we know it and… Easter dinner is just around the corner.  Have a great day and remember to Think Forward!

  • >Standing My Ground… It Wasn’t Easy!

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    The idea for this post came from a chat with a friend; thanks Shawn!



    My dog journey is a perfect example of the struggle to maintain balance in my life while trying to meet the needs of my family.

    Sometime during the holiday break, my husband decided that our 7 year old had to have a dog right away. I’m not sure what sparked the urgent need for a dog, but my husband was relentless in getting this dog; like an angry pit bull, he sunk his teeth into the idea and would not let go. I think he latched on to the idea from watching our son interact with my cousin’s cat. Tailor is a typical busy little boy who cannot sit still. Other than outdoor activity, his DS game, or a movie, it’s difficult for him to sit still. GG, the cat, does the trick.


    I love dogs and grew up with them, but, January is not the time to bring a puppy into our home. Trying to get my husband to understand this seemed like an impossible task.

    My Argument:

    I work outside the home, which limits my time. Hubby gets home a few hours after me. Immediately after work, I pick up our son from school, do the homework ritual, and take care of dinner, and so on. Our son isn’t responsible enough or mature enough yet to walk a dog out front or even in our fenced back yard with an in-ground pool, so I would have to go outside with him. Commercial Break: I am an extremely organized person who vigorously manages my time. I don’t like to be rushed or to be late and try to do all that’s humanly possible to avoid doing both. Going outside with Tailor would mean a serious delay on homework, dinner, dishes, his playtime, and my workout time. As of now, we’re just fitting it all in and soccer and football season hasn’t even started. If I sound selfish, sorry, but I won’t apologize; because I am determined not to sacrifice my wants and needs while taking care of my family. 
    My Compromise:

    Although I think we should wait until 2011, to preserve peace and harmony in our home, I could agree to get a puppy during the summer when I am not working. The summer is an ideal time for the entire family to become acquainted with our new family member. During the summer we have few time constraints. As a family, we can take our dog to obedience class and teach our son how to properly handle and walk the dog, and try to housebreak him as well. Taking on this incredible responsibility during the summer will be less stress on everyone including our puppy.


    I am also open to the idea of adopting a dog from the human society. As a result of a loss of jobs by many pet owners, may dogs have been displaced and found themselves in animal shelters or euthanized. Getting an older dog would eliminate the process of housebreaking a puppy and saving a life.

    I honestly thought that my argument and compromise were logical right? Well… all I can tell you is that my partner didn’t quite see it quite that way. I swear- this is how marriages end in divorce. During the course of a month’s time, the level of stress in our home intensified and everyday I was panicked at the thought of “Donovan” showing up on our door step. Yeah, that’s right. The name was already picked out and a darling picture of Donovan hung on the refrigerator and in our son’s room. A family friend even donated a crate and bed for the little bastard! I’m sorry, but in the end that’s how I was feeling. Honestly, I love dogs, but this dog wasn’t even in our home and was causing me to have heart palpitations. I questioned myself and wondered if I was being selfish. I sought advice from close friends and colleagues because I needed to know if I was off in my way of thinking. I was told that I was being fair and I needed that reassurance. Thanks guys for your support! Anyway, the icing cake for me was when I learned that a substantial deposit had already been made. Gee! Talk about pressure! Hold your ground Tanya….. Steady… I kept telling myself.  Commercial Break: You see, I think this is when we (women) usually just give in because, at this point, it’s the easy thing to do and giving in will take all the animosity and tension away. But in the end, if it’s not the right decision, in the long run, all that tension, animosity, and stress WILL definitely return with a VENGENCE!  I felt that bringing a puppy into our home before we were ready and before we had a daily plan, would be disastrous for all parties involved.

    Anyway after going back and forth with my husband and continuing to reiterate my point, he decided that our marriage was more important than fighting over when to get a dog. It’s crazy because we both agreed that a dog would be good for our son and the family, but the question of when to get the dog was the dilemma. So I guess, by the end of January, the issue was resolved and… neither of dared to utter the word “DOG!” Even if it meant saying the phrase, “doggone it!” Yeah, I can laugh now, but didn’t think it was funny then.

    Okay fast forward to March—today— You won’t believe this, but we’ve found a breeder in New York that we’re going to visit in the spring. Additionally, he’s agreed to visit a local animal shelter. We will check them out to decide if we will get a puppy or adopt an older dog during the summer. We are going to move forward slowly with this and hopefully, everything will work out. I will definitely keep you posted on our journey to finding our new family member.  Meanwhile, if you have tips, pointers, on owning a pet,  please share!  Thank you!  By the way, we like small dogs…   Yorkie’s, Shih Tzu’s, and Maltese’s.. we think…. still lots of homework to do.

    http://www.petfinder.com/shelters/hsoc.html
    http://hsacpet.com/
    http://www.puppypetite.com/index.html

  • >Yes… Turkey CAN be tasty!

    >Wow!  Cannot believe that I am blogging again!  I am trying not to get too excited, but two consecutive days is BIG for me.

    On Sunday’s I try to prepare a big meal so that it lasts for at least one day.  Actually- the truth is that I want at least two days of leftovers so that I can start the week not having to rush home to cook.  That is the only reason why I cook larger meals on Sundays- Not because I love to slave in the kitchen making a mountain of dirty pots and pans to clean.

    Anyway, today I was busy and wanted to get a few things done…  To do a little cleaning, take a 8 mile jog, and take my son out to ride his bike…  Oh yes!  And to cook dinner!   Not necessarily in that order.  So I wanted to prepare a meal that was quick without me slaving over the oven and stove.  It came out really tasty and that’s according to the “maternal critic” aka mom, not me.   Jamie and our son enjoyed it, so I’m sharing it with you.   I’ll just call it-   “T’s BBQ Shredded Turkey”

                  Receipe

    1 1/2 lbs  Turkey Tenderloins
    12            Fresh garlic cloves (minced)
    1 Each     Red, green and orange pepper (only if you have time    
                    to cut up)
    1              Red onion (skip if you don’t have time– the garlic does
                    does the trick)
    1-2 tbsp   Smokey Mesquite Seasoning (Durkee Grill Creations)
    1-2 tbsp   Crushed Red Peppers
    1 tbsp      Lawry’s Season Salt
    1 tbsp      Brown sugar
    8 oz.        KC Masterpiece BBQ or YOUR favorite BBQ sauce.
    1              Crock pot or slower cooker (is there a difference?)

    Okay, now quickly throw everything in the pot!   Wait!  Seriously, take about half the minced garlic, peppers and onions and place in the bottom of the crock-pot.  Place the tenderloins on top of  spices.  Put remaining garlic, peppers and onions on top of the tenderloins. Sprinkle other spices and sugar on top. Pour BBQ sauce over the tenderloin (don’t stir).  Today I cooked it on high for about five hours, but usually I prefer cooking on slow for just a little longer.   You’ll know that it’s cook well enough when you can take two forks and pull the tenderloins apart.  The tenderloins will look shredded when you’re done.

    Today I served the BBQ tenderloin over No-Yolk Egg Noodles, but you can serve it over whatever you like- rice, potatoes, or other pasta.   Serve with a quick salad or your favorite vegetable.  I didn’t remember to snap a photo until after we finished eating!  I’ll try to remember to take a picture next time.  Enjoy dinner!

    By the way, Tailor got to ride his bike; I overdid the cleaning, and haven’t run yet.  Hmm. It’s 6:30 so maybe I will just ride the stationary bike.  Just as I said on my last post…. it’s a trade off.  I didn’t get everything completed on my to-do list, but I did get half completed and…. the bonus was I made time to blog.  Not bad for a Sunday.

    I hope that you have a fabulous week!

  • >MY SQUEEZE ON TIME!

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        It has been 12 days and some 16 hours since my last post.  At the start of this project, I committed and swore to myself that not one week would go by without at least one post. Oh well!  While I’m disappointed that I haven’t blogged for more than a few days, I can live with that fact.  Let’s see- job… check…. home… check… family… check… health…. check-   Really, the world hasn’t ended.  That’s my story and I’m sticking to it. This approach works for me and helps me to maintain my sanity. We all know that life can be quite challenging, so I try really hard to not take life too seriously. Most days I am successful.
         I must say though that, during the past 12 days, not a day passed where I wasn’t trying to figure out how I could squeeze in some time to blog.  But some how between dinner preparations, helping my son with homework, working out, and other wifely duties, I was just too pooped to read or to write. Yikes! I always feel as though I can never get everything done, but I don’t stress over it, because there is always tomorrow. Now, although I didn’t make or have time (depending on how you look at it) to blog, I did make time to intensify my workout routine and I am excited about that. There’s always a trade off and that’s what I try to remind myself. Okay, so I didn’t get one thing done, but I did accomplish something else in its place and that counts; right? Someone please help me on this one…
         I increased my workout intensity with this cool, BodyFit Gel Touch Body Trainer. I bought it at Sports Authority for around $12.  I bought the one for the lower body, but they also sell them for the upper and full body. It’s so cool, you can take it anywhere and it even fits in those larger fashionable handbags. You can use it just about any place, including at work, during your lunch break. You know that the summer will be upon us quickly and we all want to look and feel our best, especially during the hot and sizzly summer months. The body trainer comes with instructions on how to use it. I searched online for it at Sports Authority, but could only find the full body and upper body trainers, so if you want the one that I bought, you’ll have to buy it in the store. Anyway, I love it! It’s great for toning the thighs and buttocks. By the way, if you do try it and isolate the muscles correctly, you will feel the BURN.
         For those of you who have the time to work out at the gym, I am envious. When my son is older, I will return to the gym. However, for now, I am ever so thankful for the home gym that my husband concocted for me. I am also thankful to have had time today to workout, to blog, and to…. Nope! Not cooking tonight, going out again to enjoy AC’s Restaurant week. Enjoy your weekend!