Health & Wellness by Lexa's Journal

My mission in life is to not merely survive, but to thrive: and do so with passion, compassion, humor, and style. – Maya Angelou

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An eternal optimist, always wearing a smile. Must haves: sunshine, fitness (jogging, weight training, & CrossFit), reading, good food, writing, music, and fun with family and friends.

  • >Strategic Shopping

    >     It’s been a while since my last post.  All I can say is that, after my last day of school, I shifted into vacation mode.   Actually, the first two weeks of my vacation, I was quite productive and finished several projects at home.  You know- the stuff that’s hard to get to during the regular work schedule; cleaning/reorganizing the kids room, filing, etc…   After week two, I kicked back into vacation mode and that’s where I’ve been ever since.  

         As a kid, I learned very little about money management. My dad was a penny pincher and my mom was the exact opposite.   My dad put tape on his car when it began to rust, while my mom ordered new carpet because of an (alleged) stain.  Since my dad spent most of his time at work, I learned my wonderful shopping strategies from my mom.  Once I grew up, moved out, and recovered from numerous financial disasters, I began to seek out and learn better money management strategies.
     
         Today I could not resist writing about my coupon adventures and I have Carol, the “coupon queen” to thank.”  I’ve never spent a great deal of time clipping coupons, but always looked for the best buy on my weekly shopping list.  Don’t get me wrong, I could always use the extra discount, but it always seemed like an awful lot work that just wasn’t worth saving a few pennies (or so I thought).  

         About three months ago, I was surprised to learn how much money I could save from giving a little attention to clipping coupons.  It started with me printing coupons for others- then I got interested when colleagues were talking about free stuff that they got from local grocery stores and pharmacy type stores.  I found that “clipping coupons” has moved to a new level.  While you can still “clip,” the Internet is very ingenious and definitely minimizes the time spent searching and cutting.

         One of the sites that I recently found is http://www.couponmom.com  This site is so cool!!  Through this site, I find that I’m able to decrease the time spent trying to figure out who has the best buys for specific products.  This site talks about “strategic shopping” and has two quick how to video’s.   The concept may not be new to you, but it is to me.  I’m sharing the site because there may be others like me, who was in the dark about this “coupon thing.”  Most of us have seen the maniac, extreme coupon mom who leisurely stroll through the supermarket with all the time in the world, but now I know why.

         After spending a little time on the site, I found great bargains at Shoprite, CVS, Acme, Pathmark, and Rite Aid.  Yep!  CVS and Rite Aid and they both accept manufacturer’s coupons!  I had no idea.  You can’t begin to imagine the bargains and free stuff that’s sitting on the shelves waiting for you to take home.  Take for example, Motrin-   tomorrow I’m headed over to Rite Aid to get a bottle of Motrin for free.  I would have definitely missed this item without visiting the site.  I’m excited that I’ve gotten boxes of brand name cereals for less than 50 cents!!  Imagine that!   Perhaps I’m becoming a tad bit compulsive- I thought so after going through the self check out line and strategically deciding on how I could snatch some unwanted “free coupon items” out of the trash can that the cashier tossed.  Lmbo!!  I’m not kidding!  I really had to check myself, because I finally saw value in those silly coupons that print out along with the receipts.

         So, if you’re looking to save a few dollars on grocery and house hold items, you should check out couponmom.com.   At the same time, if you know of other shopping tips, I’d love to hear about them.

  • >And Just One Day

    >Woke up 38 minutes later than I was supposed to
    Left for work 17 minutes later than I should have
    Arrived at work with a bright smile and one minute to spare
    Left work on time
    Went to the supermarket to discover tonight’s dinner
    Picked up my son from school 52 minutes after school let out (he went to aftercare)
    No homework for my son tonight… hallelujah!
    Put (actually shoved) groceries in fridge
    Changed clothes into something more comfortable
    Marinate turkey london broil for the grill tomorrow
    Cooked entire meal on the grill (thank God for warmer weather)
    While cooking—notice filthy kitchen floor—didn’t look that way this morning
    Feed son and mom (hubby not home yet)
    Washed dishes
    Bathed son & put him to bed
    Scrubbed kitchen floor on my hands & knees (I swear!)
    Put a load of towels in the washing machine
    Boot up computer to complete online class assignments
    Wondering what the hell is wrong with me!   Ha! Ha!  Am I normal?
    Can’t wait until Friday(tomorrow)… Can’t wait until my vacation begins (13 days)…. very soon!

  • >Letting Go

    >Three years ago, my daughter returned home from completing her freshman year of college and up until recently, I’d forgotten (intentionally) about the shocking experience. The memory was resurrected when I found myself engaged in a conversation and offering up advice to two college students just returning home from their freshman year of college.  Both were frustrated and were talking about how their moms were having trouble “letting go.”  Like most college students who live on campus, they thoroughly enjoyed their first year of newfound freedom, but quickly discovered when returning home, that all of their freedom quickly vanish at the arrival of their parent’s doorstep.  I swear, I can laugh now, but that junk was not funny when I was living what felt like was a nightmare.  I re-lived quite a few moments as the two swapped stories- “when I was at school, there were no rules!”  “Geez!  What am I going to do at home that I didn’t and couldn’t have already done at school?”  “Should I tell my mom that I’m going to the movies, or should I ask?”  “I’m so confused!”   Their words stirred up lucid memories of my battle and my struggle with my daughter’s return from college.

    Toward the later end of students’ high school years, a great deal of emphasis and preparation is placed on those students transitioning to college.  However, from my personal experience, there was little advice and planning that would prepare me for the toggling between letting go when my daughter left for college and managing her return home at the end of her first year.  Given that I attended college as an adult and did not experience this transition as a teen, that may be the reason behind my ill preparedness in being aware of what to expect.  In any case, I’m certain and hope that the transition is more pleasant for others.  No two children, biological or not, are the same- so I recognize that each situation is different.  With all that said, now what?  If you have a college age child or know of someone who does, you understand what I’m talking about. In any case, I thought I’d share a few words of wisdom with you and hope to make your experience more congenial than mine.  Anyway, having survived the journey, and having heard the argument from both sides, I’ve learned that both sides need to first take a deep meditative breath then…
    1. Be realistic about your expectations- Your son or daughter may not be, but you have to; trust me.  
    2. Prepare yourself for a little attitude, but it may not be as bad as you think.
    3. Be proactive.  Don’t wait until your son or daughter returns home at 4:00 a.m. to address “house rules.”  In retrospect, I should have sat down with my daughter as soon as she returned from school.
    4. Don’t assume anything.  Talk about your expectations such as, eating, laundry, chores, etc… As most of you know, some college students can develop all sorts of nasty habits that may not be acceptable in your home.
    5. Listen – not with the intent to respond, but to actually hear and understand the words being spoken.
    6. Compromise.  I know— why on earth should we compromise? It’s our home; we pay the mortgage, bills, etc…  The fact of the matter is that our babies are growing up and we have to begin to let go (within reason).  For those who know me, they will say that I’m “old school” and can be   Understand that since birth, we’ve controlled almost every aspect of our children’s lives and now that they’ve left the nest, they are feeling or pretending to be more confident about making their own decisions.  After all, for ten months, they survived (narrowly in some cases) on their own without us telling them when to get up, when to eat, when to sleep, etc…  So, as frightening as it may be, we have to figure out how to loosen up our grip and to slowly let go.

    I believe that the notion of growth comes to us through various experiences; some more jarring than others.  Perhaps the more jarring, the more growth we experience.  But as I watch my children endure physiological growth, I conceptualize the same growth taking shape for myself.   This is a new and welcoming experience for me.  Generational gaps in my family did not provide me with the idea or the awareness that my recent experiences (as a parent) existed or were even possible.  I come from a place where things and people don’t change; of course, as logical adult, I now know that changes occur from within and are possible. I look forward to sharing this wisdom with my children. 

    As parents, most of us have spent 18+ years preparing our children for the real world.  You know- what and who to look out for, choices vs. consequences, standing for what you believe in and the like.   At some point, we have to let go and find a balance between allowing them to create their own life experiences while serving as a support system-next to or behind them.  Most of us will be delighted to discover that a great deal of our words of wisdom continue to echo in our kids minds and have kept them safe.  So now it’s time to begin to let go and embark on the next chapter of getting to know our children as mature adults.



  • >Finding Scholarship Money

    >If I haven’t already mentioned in a previous post, I am eager to start Grad School; however, the cost to do so is astronomical!!   Wait- It’s not just graduate school, but undergraduate programs as well.  So regardless of whether you are trying to fund your child’s education or your own, brace yourself… it isn’t cheap!  Since I’m a nontraditional student, who graduated eons ago and don’t have the 4.0 undergraduate GPA, no one is chomping at the bits to throw any cash my way.  As of today though, my employer still offers tuition reimbursement (as long as I meet the requirements), but with all the recent cuts from Governor Christie, nothing is guaranteed.

    We’ve all heard or even remarked, especially if you have kids, “Get your education… blah…blah…blah…”  Please read on, because I am in no way mocking the need, the value, or the goal to acquire a solid education, I’m sneering at the means of how one is to go about acquiring the aspiration of a solid education.   I know- there’s a lot of room for debate here, but for the sake of argument, I’m talking about the working adult with dependents, who may lack the benefit of tuition reimbursement, etc… I love education and consider myself to be a lifelong learner; I read year around and the thought of leaving this planet before reading every book on my “to-read” list and the ones that haven’t made the list yet, makes me cringe.

    Anyway, as I was doing a little research on scholarships for folks like me, and I stumbled on a great blog that provided more insight on how to find scholarships.  The blog can be found at:  http://www.scholarships4moms.net/ , but the direct link is: http://www.scholarships4moms.net/blog/2010/02/26/searching-for-federal-and-state-sponsored-scholarships-and-grants-online/

    Whether you are searching for money for your children or for yourself, dig deep– not in your pocket, but deep in terms of your research.   Good luck in your search.

    “Think  Forward”

  • >Pre-Fab Fix

    >… My name today–  Tanya “Pre-Fab” Cain.  I’m serious.  Tailor has soccer practice soon.  I have an hour and half to whip something resembling a nutritious meal together that I honestly look in the mirror and say, “I did cook dinner tonight!”  Ha! Ha!  I’m so for real.  I know it’s not the home made stuff, but I don’t have time, nor am I interested in making home made pasta.  For my fabulous pre-fab dish, click on the link below:

    http://lexasrecipes.blogspot.com/

  • >Attending The Concert

    >Today I am recovering (actually my feet) from my adventures last night at The House of Blues. We told our daughter that we would attend the concert last night, and although both my husband and me just wanted to chill at home, we wanted to keep our word to her and attended anyway.

    Just before the concert, we saw our daughter and her boyfriend.  We talked for a few quick minutes and off they went with excitement to film the night’s events.  I thought, how cool is that; age 20 and filming on stage at a concert held at a casino in Atlantic City.  

    While my husband and I waited outside the entrance for my cousin, I couldn’t help but notice the difference in the unspoken dress code of the, what I refer to as, the teeny boppers!   I thought I was dressed down with my jeans, chained spaghetti strapped knitted top and 3 inch heals, but I couldn’t be further off.  Ohm god!   At 44, I felt like I had stepped into a time machine.  Wait!  Maybe I shouldn’t blame it on my age and should just consider that I am just a tad bit out of touch with the latest fashion styles.  I think I do okay at work, but the social scene is a completely different world.  Nevertheless, most of the kids had the same jeans and sneakers on that we had on earlier in the day- darn, we didn’t have to change our clothes.
    Because we stood in the VIP line, when the door opened, we got first crack at being directly in front of the stage.  I’m still not sure if that’s a curse or blessing; I guess it depends on who’s performing.   I felt like a groupie at a Bruce Springsteen’s rock concert.  Being that close isn’t typically my first choice but, to see our daughter on stage, we wanted to be as close as possible.   Before the show started, she came out and saw us again. We also met the 50 something year old mother of the opening act—we just happened to be standing side by side.  I was very happy to see his mother there as well.  I firmly believe that when we support and encourage our kids in their endeavors, especially in the arts, that it’s a confidence booster and nothing feels better than knowing that your parents support (not necessarily financial either) you.

    Dosage was the opening act for B.o.B and Lupe Fiasco. He received a nice welcome.  The kid was impressive!  I liked his lyrics- positive, encouraging, motivational, and I could understand every word.  As he rapped and danced across the stage, my eyes were fixed on my daughter, who appeared to be oblivious to the fact that she was on stage with a huge audience.  She was focused and in her element.  I was impressed and proud of her for “doing her.”  We stayed for the two following acts.  The crowd intensified and slowly but persistently pushed up on us like we were suppose to move the front line up to the stage.  Wow!  Times have changed or did I just miss this before?  I still got my groove on and enjoyed the performances.  I didn’t however; appreciate being spit on by the lead guitarist for the main act!  Yep!!  You read right!  He took swag of water and spit it back out at the crowd like we were thirsty or something.  What the hell? He was an excellent guitarist but could have left that part out of the act.  That junk was not cool!  Only the “old heads” in the audience seemed bothered.   Hmm…   While jamming on the floor, my cousin pointed to the balcony, where I looked up to see my daughter, who’d finished filming, waiving and smiling at us!  I would give a million bucks to know what she was thinking at that moment.