Health & Wellness by Lexa's Journal

My mission in life is to not merely survive, but to thrive: and do so with passion, compassion, humor, and style. – Maya Angelou

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An eternal optimist, always wearing a smile. Must haves: sunshine, fitness (jogging, weight training, & CrossFit), reading, good food, writing, music, and fun with family and friends.

  • >September’s New Beginnings: Getting Organized

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    For me, September resonates feelings similar to the beginning of a new year. Teachers and students return to school.  Both anticipate a successful school year; almost everyone starts out with  a clean slate.  It is a new chapter for college freshman as they plot their course in their new life away from home.   September brings about transition for many households.  One of the first indicators for me is when my favorite commercial comes on.  You know, the one where the mom joyfully skips through the aisles of the office supply store to the tune of  “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year!” And the kids look on in disgust. I love it!!

    In about two weeks or so, the kids will be Back-to-school  and the race will begin.  Getting everyone out of the house on time,  helping with homework, deciding what’s for dinner, and getting to and from after school activities. Whew!  It can be draining, but by developing a plan and getting the family on board with the routine, and sticking to it, can make the days more pleasant.  In this post, I will share a few of my tips that help me to maintain my sanity during the school year.

    To keep me organized and on track, one of my favorite tools is my Busybody Book.  I’ve been using it for five years now.  The one year that I thought I could get along with out it was a complete disaster!  It’s great to keep track of everybody schedule; doctor appointments, after school activities, bills, birthday’s, holiday shopping lists, and more. It’s great for high school and college students as well.  Although I do use the calendars on my computers and phones, this book brings everything together for me.

    Professional organizers insist that everything should have a place and I completely agree with this idea. I”ll admit that I can be a little anal about this, but it saves me a great deal of time.  Designating a place for mail, book bags, permission slips, and more can make the process seem effortless and save you a great deal of time.

    To get out of he house on time in the morning, bags are packed the night before.

    During a hectic work ,deciding on what’s for dinner week can be tire-some and stressful; especially if you’re determined to provide healthy and balanced meals.  If you don’t already own one, investing in a crock-pot will make a positive impact on your life.  It’s so easy to toss everything in a pot, set the timer, walk away and know that later, a delightful meal will be ready to devour.

    When it comes to washing dishes, my friend taught me that, when I have time restraints, to wash the dishes, but put them in the dishwasher to dry.  We don’t always have enough dishes to run the dishwasher everyday, so using it to dry dishes really works for me. 

    My laundry day begins Thursday evening when I toss the larger loads in the washer and dry first.  The larger loads take longest to dry, so they can dry (Friday morning) while I’m at work.  Although it’s time consuming, on Friday, I wash, dry, iron, fold, and put everything away.  I prefer to do my ironing ahead of time, so that I don’t have to iron in the mornings and…   if my son has an accident in the morning, I can easily grab a clean shirt or pants that’s already ironed and still get out the door on time.

    I cannot live without my to-do lists, which I keep in my busybody book.  I keep a list of items that I need to buy.  Typically as soon I know that I’m running low on an item, I write it down.  There are some really cool applications for the iPhone and other smart phones that can help maintaining your list easier.  There are applications where you can scan the bar code to determine who has the best price on a product.  Of course, there is also the coupon mom website that can help you save money on your grocery list. This year, I’m going to try something new.  I’m going to try Sam’s Club’s “click and pull” system to see if it saves me times.  A few other grocery store offers the same service, but unfortunately, none are close to me.  I will update you how the system works for me.

    If you have school-aged children.  Buy extra pencils and on Sunday, have the kids sharpen the a dozen or so pencils so that during the week, plenty of pencils are sharpened and ready for the daily homework.

    Start your online browsing or shopping now for the holiday season.  Even if you don’t plan on buying online, you can browse the websites of local stores to determine who has the best price for items on your shopping.  If buying online, wait for the “free shipping” periods to buy.

    Four days are left of my vacation and then I will be back to the grind.  I am always looking for tips to save time and money, so if you have some, please take a few moments to post them.  Thank you!   

    Additional Readings

    http://www.hgtv.com/kids-rooms/back-to-school-organization/index.html

    http://www.busybodybook.com/

    http://www.nytimes.com/2009/07/09/technology/personaltech/09basics.html

    http://www.pueblo.gsa.gov/cfocus/cfschool06/focus.htm

    http://organizedhome.com/

  • >Is There a Problem With Multi-tasking?

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    Is there such a thing as just too much multi-tasking? Yesterday afternoon I found myself, washing, drying, ironing clothes, cooking dinner, entertaining my son, watching the dog, and staining my bathroom vanity, all the while rockin and boppin to my favorite reggae music! This is insane. I felt okay though; no pressure, no stress, just trying to get it all done. Although I wasn’t stressed or anything, I did honestly wonder if something was seriously wrong with me. Maybe I need to see a doctor or get tested. Maybe I’m perfectly normal and this is just what moms do. Rarely do we have down time, so typically, and when time permits, I think we try to accomplish as much as we can.

    There are endless studies and reports which suggest that being “plugged in” or “turned on” all of the time is not good. So my theory is that perhaps my non-technological multi-tasking behavior is derived from my undiscovered addiction to technology. Could I be craving the same stimulation that I’m getting from frequent use (addiction) of technology? Ha! Ha! I’m really crackin myself up here. It sounds kind of logical because I won’t leave the house or worse, go to other parts of the house without my iPhone. I use my iPhone for reading the news, checking the weather, yes- face book, staying connected to family, and more. Meanwhile, the computer is on in another part of the house and is running close to a dozen applications simultaneously. Did I mention that sometimes while riding bike, I listen to Pandora radio, but I don’t think this counts as multi-tasking. And wouldn’t you know it; I do the same thing at work, take phone calls, run multiple apps, and assist students in my office.

    For a little help with my self diagnoses, I did a quick online search to see what’s being said and reported about my behavior and I found some interesting reads. My first “ah-ha” moment happened after viewing GMA’s report on digital technology and it’s affect on the brain and the family. They ask the question, Do You Suffer from Technology Overload?” Perhaps I have some— not all of the classic symptoms, but I do need to be careful. If you’re like me and wonder about your behavior, you should read, The New York Times, “Attached to Technology and Paying a Price” report. They report that “scientists say juggling e-mail, phone calls and other incoming information can change how people think and behave. They say our ability to focus is being undermined by bursts of information.” I’m no scientists, but this sounds a little like me. Even as I sit here updating my blog, I realize that I’m still multi-tasking! Geez!! I have six applications open, not including iTunes, where I’m syncing hubby’s iPhone! OMG!!
    Prior to the infusion of technology in my home, I don’t recall doing things exactly the way I did yesterday. I’ve always been good at juggling and multi-tasking. And I attributed those skills to my 19 ½ years of working in the gaming and hospitality industry. That’s right, blame it on somebody else- After all, who takes responsibility for their shortcomings these days. No really, I’m serious. Working in the gaming industry is fast paced. For many years, I worked in hotel operations and you have to be quick thinking and fast acting…. So just maybe, it started back in 1984 and was re-ignited a few years ago. I don’t know, I’m just thinking on paper.

    There’s quite a bit of reading material on the topic of multi-tasking, most of which is associated with “technology overload,” and I could go on and on, but I won’t. Two other noteworthy sites to check out are: http://www.good.is/post/multitasking-too-much-of-ourselves/ and http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/study-finds-too-much-multi-tasking-can-harm-mental-well-being/  I am certain that there are more sites; if you know of any good ones, please share them with me. I’d like that.

    Both sites further explore the effects of multi-tasking on our mental and well being, as well as, our family. So, I don’t know, if I was effective yesterday with all the juggling? But my rational for doing all the multi-tasking yesterday was simple; the weekend is coming and when it does, I want to chill! I realize that soon, the summer will be over, the warm temperatures will disappear, the pool will close and I’ll have to wait until next year. Did I get everything finished? No, I did not and it’s just going to have to wait, because on Saturday, I will be relaxing by the pool.

  • >Saving Our Daughters: Can we?

    >”I’d say about 16.  I lost my virginity and the whole sexual world sparked my interest.” “I think it was just wanting to explore sexuality,” she goes on. “I know it’s such a big world I was just like, wow, well since I like sex. . .I wanted to see everything that I would like, every kind of fantasy I would like and porn is a way that I could explore that.”  These shocking words quoted by E are the words of Montana Fishburne, the daughter of Lawrence Fishburne.
    As I watched the video and read various reports, I was saddened for Montana, her dad, her family, and for all the other young ladies out there like her. Through all the media attention, Montana wants the world to believe that she’s happy, but I’m sorry, I don’t buy it!  I don’t hold a degree or certification in psychology, or anything remotely close to the subject, but I am a mother, and I see a young lady who is feeling a lot of pain. I can sit here and speculate all I want, the fact of the matter is that I don’t know and probably never will know what has driven her to this point, but I am certain that she’s hurting on the inside.
     
    What’s going on with our girls? Is it a reflection of society? Is it a lack of morals?  Is it a lack of spiritual guidance? Oh man, it would be really easy to judge Montana on her career path right now, but I can’t. I am just going to pray for her and hope that others are doing the same. I feel pretty strongly that the break down in the family and community structure is contributing to the demise of our young ladies. Montana also spoke of Kim Kardashian, as if she was some kind of role model. I guess she’s hoping to achieve Kardashian’s level of notoriety, which I find quite repulsive. Unfortunately the sheer volume of reality TV continues to rise; and so many people are willing to exploit themselves for a few minutes of fame. 

    Our little girls are growing up way too fast and we have to do our absolute best to find a balance between allowing them be innocent little girls and allowing them to mature and to grow to be independent young ladies. I say, we let them play with the dolls as long as they want, pull out the jacks and jump ropes, restrict what they see on TV, watch TV with them to explain what they’re seeing. Be very careful about those sleepovers, talk, talk, and talk, about everything under the sun. When my daughter was about ten, her best friend’s mom approached me. She was concerned because my daughter was talking to her daughter about the female reproductive system. Her daughter was uninformed, but quite curious. My daughter shared what she knew, which led to her questioning her mother about it. Her mother asked me to tell my daughter to stop talking about that stuff with her. I thought she was out of her mind, but responded nicely.

    I know that every child is different, and what works for one, doesn’t necessarily work for the other. But we have to be diligent in our efforts to save our daughters, sometimes from themselves, and more often from the outside world. I know a lot of beautiful women who take time out of their day and volunteer to work with the young girls, some of which don’t have daughters of their own; they are simply caring, kind, and giving women. Kudos to each and every one of you!!! I’m not naïve and know just how difficult it is to talk to them. I live it every day at work and experience the fury on a daily basis; however if we keep the Montana’s of the world in mind and think of them as our own, perhaps we can make a difference in a life.

  • Lessons in Motherhood

    There is no doubt in my mind that the dynamics of a mother-daughter relationship has many layers and  at some point in time, it all comes full circle. My relationship with my mother is complicated, and has been since my early teens.  Is it the same for all mother-daughters?  I hope not, but I do realize that both mothers’ and daughters” go through phases that can bring about conflict. Is it the same for father-sons relationships?  I don’t know.

    Anyway, with regards to my mother, the subject of “Respect” is an issue.  The question/challenge/issue is, that there’s a very fine line when it comes to respecting your mother, while politely- encouraging— then demanding that your mother respects your adult child, who by the way, is quite respectful to grand mom.   Whoa!  That’s a mouthful, but it is some serious stuff and I know, that I cannot be the only daughter on this planet dealing with this nonsense.

    About a week ago, I found myself engaged in serious discussion.  Ha! Ha!  I’m laughing because the “discussion” is the politically correct term.  The truth of the matter is that, the argument was a scene that was ideal for one of the many current outrageous reality TV shows. I know that some people might ask, why am I airing my dirty laundry out there for all to know.  And my answer is quite simple:  People need to know that they are not alone in the challenges that they face in life.  I truly believe that when you’re going through a difficult time, it helps (at least for me) to know, that you’re not the only one having gone through it.  I have learned so much from others and hope that someone out there can learn from my experiences.   My personal opinion is that all too often, issues are kept a secret (especially) in some families- and some secrets do more harm than good.  Note that I said some.

    All right, back on track now.  So right in front of hubby, our young son, and me and without cause, my mom rudely insulted and disrespected my daughter.  When I attempted to respectfully correct her, she shifted into high gear and vehemently defended herself.  At one point, I felt like I was having an outer body experience.  I felt myself looking at the situation as though I was viewing it from a cloud or somewhere high above.  At that moment, I realized that I needed to take a stance, make my position clear and just deal with the consequences.  I dug deep inside and told my mother all that has been on my mind.  We visited some places that we hadn’t visited in a long time, but with a much different perspective.  She tried to walk away, but I wouldn’t let her; because she needed to know how her sharp words impact and hurt others.  My daughter tried to respectfully defend herself to her grand mother, but I told her that this was my battle, not hers.  The dialogue continued but I don’t think my mother really heard or understood anything I said, which is how it’s always been.  In the end, we (mother and I) agreed that alternative living arrangements should be made.  We’re working on that now and it really was inevitable.

    Meanwhile, as I look through the glass that’s half full and reflect on my relationship with my mother, I realize that I’ve learned some important lessons from her.  I’ve learned:

    1.    That my mother is the kind of person who needs her own space.  She cannot live with others.  It doesn’t make her good, bad, or evil, it’s just a fact
    2.    To credit my mother for giving me the thick skin that I’ve grown over the years
    3.    To thank my mother for teaching me how to be a genuinely nice person
    4.    To always tell my children that I love them and to hug them several times each day
    5.    To allow my children a look inside my heart and soul so they may understand the person that I’ve become
    6.    To forgive and to never hold grudges
    7.    To apologize when I’m wrong
    8.    To see the good in people
    9.    To get to know my daughter; go to the beauty salon, movies, nail salon, etc… with her
    10.  Don’t be a part of racism and prejudice; instead treat people the same way that I want to treated

    Have my mother and I gone full circle yet?  I don’t know for certain, but I don’t think so.  My heart tells me that there’s more to this story, but only time will tell.

  • >Jumping to Conclusions: Let’s Not!

    >“We look into mirrors but we only see the effects of our times on us–not our effects on others.” – Pearl Bailey

    For the past few days, I’ve listened and read in disgust to media reports about Agriculture Department Employee, Shirley Sherrod.  Ms. Sherrod was asked to resign, which in my opinion, is the same as being terminated, for segments of a video of a speech that she made at an NAACP event. An edited clip of her speech was released, which significantly mislead the public-  After the clip’s release, all hell, broke loose.




    I saw the video segment on the evening news and thought, “that’s only part of the speech, where’s the rest?” It turns out that the video clip was taken out of context, resulting in her superiors, white house officials, other public officials, and much of the public to jump to conclusions. Release of this clip initially resulted in attacks on her professional and person character, loss of her job, and a bunch of unwanted media attention. Fortunately for Ms. Sherrod, the full video was later viewed by her superiors and, while a great deal of damage had already occurred, the Department of Agriculture has back stepped, apologized, and offered her a new position within the agency. She even received a text and a phone call from President Obama.


    This entire fiasco got me to think about myself as a parent, a spouse, a friend, and an educator. It’s really made me reflect on times that I may have jumped to conclusions about someone else’s actions. The lesson here is that we should not be quick to judge, as a matter fact, we shouldn’t be judging people at all. Period! We should be more open-minded before we form opinions about anything or anyone. While I consider myself to be pretty flexible, I’ve decided to re-commit to being even more open-minded and to continue to question what is being presented to me and think about my effects on others.

    Edited Speach
    Full Speech

  • >Our New Addition To The Family: Alex!

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    Meet Alex!  Alex is the newest member of our family.  It was only a few months ago that I was going through some serious doggy drama in my home.   Hubby wanted a pooch right away, but I wanted to wait until the summer.   Needless to say, the drama is over (I hope).  Since early June, we (hubby and I), have searched around for the right puppy for our home. 
    Initially, hubby  wanted a French Bull Dog-  I wanted a smaller dog such as a Yorkie.   My close friend Michelle, aka Shit Zu Advocate, urged us to consider a Shit Zu.   We are so glad that we listened to her; Alex is a Shit Zu and is well suited for our family.
    Alex is 12 weeks old.  We like to think that he picked us as parents not the contrary.  After
    returning to his Breeder for a second look, Alex’s three other siblings continued to play off to the side.  But Alex came and sat right at the gate looking at us, as if he was trying to say, “pick me!”  Oh yes!  He was the right one. He has a great disposition; calm, playful, friendly, and for a puppy listens well.
    So we’re working hard at house training him, and he’s doing okay.  We decided to crate train him versus using the puppy pads. We’d rather train him to go directly outside instead of progressively doing it.  Already he’s walking on a leash and “finding his spot” in the back yard.  Hubby has already warmed up to the fact that a dog will be relieving himself on his lawn.  OMG!  At first, hubby was a little stingy with designating a spot for Alex, but quickly realized that “a designated spot” would be more convenient than walking him outside on those cold and nasty winter mornings.
    My friend Michelle stresses the importance of “socializing” Alex, so he pretty much goes everywhere  that we go and is adjusting well.  He’s learning how to meet people inside and outside of our home. There’s still much to do and much to learn, but we’ll continue to slowly move forward. My husband read, How to Raise the Perfect Dog: Through Puppyhood and Beyond by Cesar Millan, from the Dog Whisper  He found this book to be full of helpful tips. Our neighbor recommended the book.  If  you’re considering a puppy, this is a must read.  See the book below.
    How to Raise the Perfect Dog: Through Puppyhood and Beyond
    Our son LOVES playing with Alex and some days he’s reluctant to attend camp.  Everyday our son is eager to help us to walk, to feed, and to brush Alex.  It will be interesting to see IF the novelty of a new dog wears off or not. 
    Although all is going well, the real test will occur when I return to work, but we’re already working on a strategy to determine the best system that will work for us.  We’ve already had some bumps and bruises, but understand that raising a puppy is a lot like raising children.  We’ll need plenty of patience, diligence, flexibility, and good humor.  I realize that having a dog will require more frequent house cleaning such as vacuming,  mopping, and dusting; I’m seriously considering hiring a cleaning person to help in this area, because I’m the only one engaged in this activity.   Our household budget will change due to shots, dog food, grooming, and a cleaning person.  When planning a vacation, we’ll have to consider who will care for Alex. So there’s definitely a lot to consider when taking on a pet.
    While in the store the other day, Alex had an accident.  I politely stopped a store associate and she quickly told me that I could “clean it up.”  I was taken back a bit, because she assumed that I knew the store policy, but I did not.  I quickly learned proper protocol.  LOL!
    To help us along with our journey with Alex, we welcome any tips or suggestions that you have.   PLEASE– send then our way and I will continue to update you on Alex’s progress.