At 6:15 in this morning, as I’m whizzing around the kitchen, I found myself trying to answer my son’s question:
“Mom, how do you ask someone out?”
No doubt, his question caught me off guard. At soon-to-be 11, it still seems kinda early for a dating question.
“Someone?” Oookaaay. I ask if he has someone particular in mind. He hesitates. I casually remind him that we talk about everything—no secrets—no subject is off-limits.
“Well, there is this girl…” He tells me her name. I know who she is.
So back to the question, “How do you ask someone out?” Heck, I’ve been out of the dating scene for many years! Am I “qualified” to respond? LOL! Sure I am. I am his mom. I am going to teach him the right way to approach young women.
I glance over at my son. The Cheerios in his bowl are floating around, guided by his spoon. He is patiently waiting for my answer.
The words roll off my tongue something like this:
Well… before you ask her out, you need to make sure that you share similar values. If she likes you, she’s probably going to be nice to you. But watch carefully how she treats others. Observe her to make sure that she is respectful, courteous, and a genuinely nice girl.
“She can’t smoke!! I don’t want to go out with a girl who smokes!” He declares.
I say, “Yeees! Good!” She ought to be a good student too. You know, she cannot use drugs, must go to school, work hard, earn good grades, and stay out of trouble.
I’m thinking, “What did I miss?” Virginity? LOL! Too soon for that! I think I’ve covered the basics… for now.
Once you decide that she’s of good character and you’ve gotten to know her over time, and through daily conversation, and… you suspect the feelings are mutual, then you pop the question “Would you be my girlfriend?” or “Do you want to go out?”
So there is a possibility, that I may sound corny or hokey, but that’s how I put it out there to medium (He prefers “medium” over “little” man). Anyway, I believe in plain old fashion straightforwardness and honesty, with no games.
For the fellas who are reading this, what do you think? Please? Give me a male’s perspective? I can’t wait to hear hubby’s response.
I tried to get a clear definition of what “going out” meant to my son. I don’t assume current day jargon and phrases to mean what they did years ago. That’s an age revealing statement right? But it’s true. “Going out” meant the same as it still does to me, asking her to be his girlfriend.
When I asked him more about her, my heart melted when he said,
Do you hear me, “SHE’S KIND!”
I’m raising a gentleman. I love, love, love, his ability to recognize and appreciate compassion in someone. Anyway, it turns out that the little lady is a classmate and is hospitalized.
I asked Medium man if he wanted to visit her in the hospital. He does. So we will find out if her parents are okay with a visit from a potential boyfriend.
Parental obligations kept me from CrossFit today, so I look forward to tomorrow’s class. I missed working out today.